New Beginnings

Chloe Jane is here. She arrived into our lives on Monday, September 24th at 11:34 am. Labor was 4.5 hours from start to finish, but I won't bore you with the details. She is perfect and we are all so in love with her. Her big sister is doing so well woth her and she is feeding quite well at the breast and will be perfect once we work out a few kinks. I am feeling pretty good, other than some sore areas. We had her out in the world today at 4 days old, it went well, but had to come home cause my boobs were super full! She is a really good baby, sleeps a LOT but gets fussy in the evenings, which is normal. I need to get my sore areas off this chair, so that is all for now.

Perspective

So it turns out there are worse things in this world then being pregnant forever. Like what you ask? Losing a child. A lady I know lost her 8 year old son on Monday night to cancer. Leptomeningeal Gliomatosis to be exact. So rare that I can't even find a proper Google link to share. It involves the spinal cord and brain. Griffin was diagnosed in September 2005, fell ill in February 2006 and died Monday night in his mother's arms after a courageous battle. Poor little fella. And he is a twin, so that's gotta be hard on the other little guy too. At the exact moment he was taking his last hard breaths, I was in the hospital whining that I was NOT in labor yet again. Wow. Really makes you think. Obviously this baby WILL come out, but it doesn't have to be any certain day, she will come when she's damn good and ready. And I will love her with all my heart, because no longer will I be wondering when she will arrive, I will be wondering if I get to keep her. Because you just never know. Losing a child would be so incredibly devastating, I just don't have the words to even begin to imagine what that would be like. So I will take my baby girl when she comes to me and hang on for dear life, because who knows....

And while we are on the topic of death and tragedy, today would have been the birthday of my friend and boss, Heather, who died on February 9th 2006. I think about her almost every day, and it's still hard to believe that she's gone. Her illness came on so fast, and she died within 9 months. She was a friend, a wife and the mother of a 9 year old boy, and another boy who went to Heaven at his birth. Seriously...how much can one family take?? A stillborn son, then cancer?? I won't pretend to understand God's plan. All I know is that I am fortunate. Fortunate that I have one healthy child and presumably am due to give birth to another anytime. I have a roof over my head, and food in my refrigerator. I have amazing friends and a family who loves me. I have a fantastic husband who needs a kick in the ass every once in awhile, but he's a man, it goes with the territory.

So as much as I've wanted this baby out already, and hoped she would come on Heather's birthday as a way to honour her, I will wait patiently, because my little Chloe is her own person with her own mind already and maybe she wants a whole day to herself, which ya can't blame a girl for wanting, right?

Dear Andrea....

No baby yet. I don't even think I am pregnant at this point. I will try to post a real update tomorrow, I just feel like a sack of stupid shit right now...

Killing me softly...

So after my last post, I guess I eventually took a bath and went to bed. Contractions stopped around 11 pm, so I went to sleep. Got up the next morning (Wednesday) and lost a big ole chunk of my mucus plug! Called my hubs and informed him, but he had NO CLUE what a mucus plug was, so I explained to him, he he, he LOVES my ability to discuss openly the most disgusting parts of pregnancy. So anyway, the day went on, and I didn't really feel much movement from the baby, but still felt *some* so wasn't worried. She really is hyperactive and was moving about the amount of a normal baby. Anyway so my OB appointment was at 4:45, got in to see her at 5:30, she did an internal exam, which she was going to do anyway, but I had told her about my plug, so she was definitely gonna do it. So she determined me to be 1cm and 20% thinned and head WAY down....a start at least. Then I told her about the lack of movement, and she said not to worry, they have quiet days, and I was ok with this cause she was definitely still moving. So she checked the heart rate with the doppler, and her heart rate was way higher than normal, up at 180bpm! She is usually about 150. She wanted me to wait and check it again in 10 minutes or so, and it was still high, so combined with the less movement, she decided to send me for a NST at the hospital. They monitored me for 3 hours (yawn!) and determined baby to be ok, cause she started moving lots and HR came down, and then the OB on call checked me and said I was 2cm and 40-50% thinned! YIKES! So he decided to admit me, saying I was in labour and would have the baby tonight! I had been having contractions all day, but nothing that painful....so i asked to go home since I live 7 minutes away and he said ok, but come back when they get stronger/water breaks, etc. That was Wednesday....this is Saturday, I am still home!!!

Ugh!!!!!!

I have been feeling like crap all day, it's getting worse. I have been having contractions since like 3pm, and it's after 8 now. Haven't been timing them, they still seem irregular, but are kinda strong. I laid down when the Hubs came home from work, but couldn't actually sleep, which is weird for me. Ijust want this over with....I hate the fake albour crap, if that's what this is. If it's real, bring it ON baby, but give me a sign that it's real, like you know, my water breaking or something!

Besides, I can't go tonight, Big Brother is on! Maybe I need to take a bath.....at least my husband is sympathetic tonight...hey, maybe THAT is my sign, ha ha!

I have an OB appt tomorrow, hope I can convince her to check for dialation or effacement, but then again, what if I am not progressing? ACK! Maybe I don't want to know....I know, it will happen when it happens...

Time Flies....

Does that mean I am having fun? Sort of, I guess. I am off work now, have been for a few weeks and have been somewhat busy, but also getting in some much needed rest and time with my girl before the new one comes out. I am not a happy pregnant person. I mean, I am HAPPY, but not really good at that "glowing" crap you hear about. I feel like shit most of the time, and am not afriad to tell anyone who asks or will listen. That's right, I am a whiner. But, I am not plannig any more kids, so this will be my last pregnancy, so I should try to milk the sympathy, right? HA! What sympathy?? From my husband? DON'T get me started on him. He is the most selfish man I have ever been married to, ha ha! Seriously, he came home tonight and said he was tired and had a sore back. Seriously?? I was NOT tired for once, only because I loaded up on benadrly last night for the best sleep I've had in 2 weeks and napped for 3 hours this afternoon with Cheslea. HA! But I bet my back hurts more, so there!

Whatever, he is a hard working man and an excellent provider, I am just tired of being pregnant and will be better soon. 3 more weeks, the countdown is ON!