Terrified...

My biggest worry? Losing one of my parents. I think I may even be a little paranoid about it. I think about it almost daily. Like "Will my Dad have a heart attack while shoveling?" "Will my mom being a car accident?" "Will one of them get a scary cancer diagnosis?"

My parents are active and healthy. My dad just turned 64 and my mom turned 56 in July. Not that old, and they eat well and exercise, so why the worry? I love them. I need them, they are my rocks. My dad and I were never close, but I love him. And until I had my own children, I had no idea how much. We are not all huggy and stuff, but I can feel his love and I hope he can feel mine. Little things he does for me prove that he loves me. He's my Daddy. My mom and I have a great relationship. We have always been able to talk and hang out. It has gotten closer again since I had kids. I want my kids to grow up close to their "Nanny and Poppy" and love visiting them. I am pretty sure my mom is Chelsea's absolute favourite person, and I LOVE that. Both of my parents work full time jobs and show no signs of stopping any time soon. I KNOW I can go to my parents for help anytime, with anything.

My dad stopped by my house this morning to drop something off. While holding the baby, he told me that he took a phone call this morning from my mom's doctor, referring her to another doctor at another center for an appointment next week. He didn't know the doctor's name or what the appointment was for. But they told him to tell her she needs to bring a family member. WHAT?? What could that mean?? I am scared. Is it some kind of bad news? Why else would she need a family member? He seemed a little freaked out too. I asked him of he knew of any tests she'd had lately, he didn't know, or didn't tell me, not sure which. She gets regular mammograms because breast cancer is in the family, but I know her last one was fine.

So what then? My mind is racing. I am thinking the worst, of course. I am terrified.